Conflict among siblings isn’t unique to humans; it happens in just about every species that raises more than one offspring at the same time. While human children usually don’t have to compete with each other for basic food and shelter like their animal counterparts, almost all brothers and sisters experience some degree of jealousy and conflict during childhood.

Jack can’t help but feel "second-rate" when everyone gushes over his older brother Dylan’s baseball trophies. And it just frosts Sarah to watch little sister Emma going to a boy-girl party when Sarah wasn’t allowed that privilege at Emma’s age.
No parent likes to see jealousy and fighting between children, but research has shown that coping with these conflicts is actually useful for siblings in the long run. Still, parents can take only so much squabbling and bickering before feeling like they need to step in. Here are tips to keep the peace:

Don’t dare to compare your children.

Especially in front of them! When a parent applauds the virtues of one child over another, it defeats the first and pressures the second with heightened expectations. Above all, don’t pick favorites!

Stay out of your children’s arguments.

Unless there is danger of physical harm, keep your distance. Teach them how to compromise, divide things fairly, and respect one another, and then let them work it out for themselves. Don’t put too much focus on figuring out which child is to blame for fights. It takes two to fight, so anyone who is involved is partly responsible.

Let them know that violence is unacceptable.

Separate your children until they are calm and instruct them to return with at least one idea about how their conflict could have been avoided or resolved.

Set the stage for cooperation, not competition.

For example, have them race the clock to clean up their toys instead of each other. Set up win-win negotiations in which both sides gain something.

Set aside time and space for each child.

Kids need the chance to do their own thing, and play with their own friends without their sibling. And they need individual attention from you.

Focus on fun.

Plan family activities that are fun for everyone. If your kids have good experiences together, it lays the groundwork for when they come into conflict. It’s easier to work it out with someone you share warm memories with.

Sibling rivalry is an unavoidable part of raising children. As loud and messy as conflicts can be, they teach children valuable skills such as compromise, negotiation, and yes, even respect for the other person’s position.